The skinny on my skinny calves

My dad gave me many good qualities. Calves wasn’t one of them. 

Yep, I inherited Dad’s streamlined lower legs. That’s not good because calves are notoriously stubborn. You either have ‘em or you don’t. You see skinny folks with big, bulging calves and you see overweight people with defined, shapely calves. Never did a thing for them. Some things in life just aren’t fair. 

So, unlike them, I have to work for what little I have. It seems every spring I re-dedicate myself to getting some calves to strut around for the summer. It ain’t happened yet, but I’m still trying. It’s an uphill battle.  I - like a lot of blacks - have thin, high calves. The muscle belly tends to have a higher insertion than that of whites (or especially Asians). It’s just what is. 

And it’s even worse for Cape Verdeans. We’re even more calf-challenged. Lots of pins on my peeps back in New Bedford. Chicken legs. I can’t cite any studies, just an observation, even though my Cape Verdean mother was blessed with great calves. Rick inherited those. Lucky bastard. Shelley, you got a little bit, too. Um, Roxanne? We’re stuck in this little leg thing together. But hey, big calves on top of your little size 5 feet just wouldn’t look right anyway.

Quick anatomical tidbit: a higher calf sometimes correlates with a longer Achilles tendon, which, in part, explains why blacks tend to run faster and jump higher. This is fact. The Achilles tendon stores a lot of energy, which leads to a springy recoil. Look at kangaroos. They bounce around like they do because of unusually long tendons, which also allow them to hop faster without increasing energy expenditure. How cool is that? Imagine sprinting without getting more tired than when you jog. That’s athletic utopia. Heck, I’d run everywhere. 

While I’m talking calves and performance, if you want to jump higher, don’t obsess with calf raises. Those might improve your vertical minimally, but most great leapers don’t have big calves. Ever see Michael Jordan’s calf muscle? Me neither. Nobody has. One of the greatest leapers of all time has twigs for legs, straight up and down. (Former) high flyers Kobe Bryant’s and Vince Carter’s aren’t much better. 

But if you want to build muscle, yes, stay on your toes and keep doing those calf raises. We may be limited by our genetics (I’ll never have balloons in my calves like my sixth grade gym teacher Mr. Rounseville), but that doesn’t mean we can’t improve upon what we have. And that goes for any trait, physical or otherwise. Quick tip: seated calf raises hit more of the soleus, the lower part of the calf; standing raises target more of the higher gastrocnemius. Do both. And be sure to go through the entire range of motion and incorporate two or three exercises. 

Yes, calves are stubborn. Know that they’re not going to respond as quickly as your biceps or triceps, so you have to be that much more determined and dedicated (not just in the spring!). Vary sets, reps and tempo. Squeeze at the top. Try going heavy. Jump rope. Exhaust every option, every exercise. And if all else fails, blame your dad.

Footnote: Cape Verdeans are of mixed Portuguese and African ancestry. The Cape Verde islands are 350 miles off the west coast of Africa. Southeastern Massachusetts (particularly New Bedford) and Rhode Island are the most densely populated areas of Cape Verdeans.

SPREADING THE HEALTH!

ROBERT HADDOCKS, CPT, CES, CSCS